Family Culture

Every family has a culture that is perpetuated through generations. I don’t just mean culture that comes from the place in which you live (though that can add to a family’s culture), I mean a personalized, customized culture that each family member contributes to. A family’s culture is built over many years and can also be broken down over many years. A family’s culture is influenced by outside influences such as community, country, income, connections, education, possessions, and race, and is very specially tailored to each family.

An example of culture that one might experience is the behaviors, beliefs, values and morals perpetuated onto you as you were growing up. One family may value money and their societal class over the idea of family itself, whereas another family would value hard work, but their family time is crucial and nothing that should replace it. So that begs the question, do all family cultures meet the same needs and purposes with the same effectiveness?

A family that values money and social class above the family itself may struggle to meet the needs of children as well as spousal needs due to the fact that these parents tend to be more detached, are often gone most of the day, focusing on work, not at home spending time with one another. This can be very difficult for the children who would mostly be around their babysitter/nanny. They would not be getting time with parents that can be extremely crucial in developing a close and trusting relationship. On the other end, a family who doesn’t have as much, that strongly values hard work, but not necessarily moving up in work or school, could struggle to meet the financial needs of the family. Children in this family may feel like they are ashamed of what they don’t have, and struggle to continue to college without that financial support from parents. Though the need for family time is met, the financial struggle would put strain on the family as a whole.

Now that I’ve given an example on both extremes, I would like to emphasize moderation in all things. Yes, it is important to get ahead, yes, it is important to have an income to support a family, but please don’t let these things dictate how the culture in your family will be. I do not have the perfect formula for the perfect family, but I would like to give perspectives that if you’re looking to change things in your family, these are some of the things you can consider.

What are some examples of behavior, beliefs, and characteristics that you hope to carry on and perpetuate that you saw within your own family? What are things that you don’t want to carry on? What do you want to change? These are important questions to consider when looking to change family beliefs, and even changing yourself. After careful consideration, maybe some of the things that you want to carry on is how much family time is valued in your family growing up, your parents work ethic, or certain morals and values that were taught to you. The best way to perpetuate the things you want to carry on is to live by them.

There are things that stand out to me from my childhood that my parents did to create a culture that I wish to perpetuate in my life. First, my father had an outstanding work ethic and always taught me that if you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life. I saw him work every day and dedicate many hours to his work with enthusiasm. Second, my mother would always express unconditional love in measures that I didn’t even know were possible. She was always quick to apologize and to forgive. The most important thing that both of my parents taught me is that family time is the most important time. This created a culture of love and understanding in ways that I don’t fully understand yet, but I am trying my very hardest to carry on and express in my relationship with my husband and everyone I meet. I am trying every day to live by these things that I have been taught to create a culture that I want in my home.

Every family has a unique culture sometimes created by generations before, and sometimes by people who wish to create something new and different. You as an individual can change and shape your culture in what ever ways you see fit. I ask you when you do this, you keep in mind moderation in all things, and that your family needs you the most out of anything in this world.