Family Stress and Crises

Every family encounters situations that will cause stress. Some stress is temporary, some stress can linger for a long time, some will cause the family to restructure all together. The family is a truly delicate system that needs to have balance to it in order to be successful. When that balance is disrupted, it is a true test of everyone in the family. What really matters is how we approach the situation and decide what to do with the resources we have. There are so many things surrounding us that can help us get through these stressful situations, but it is imperative that we first turn inward to each other for help, love, and support.  

            There are two things that families will inevitably encounter: stressors and crises. The differences between the two are how a family system changes their interactions with each other. So, what is a stressor? A stressor is something that puts strain on the family unit. This can mean that one person, or the whole family is struggling to adjust to your surroundings. This strain can be caused from unexpected loss of a job, moving, changing careers, and so on. Stressors can cause many family members to react in different ways. Sometimes, unfortunately, people will react to the situation, blaming or shaming the person who may have caused the stress.

            A crisis within the family causes the family to reconstruct. Events like these can be things such as death, changes in health, childbirth (not to say that childbirth is meant to feel like a crisis, but it causes husband and wife/families to seriously reconstruct). Family members can react in the same kind of way to a crisis, but often times a greater level. This reaction can cause people even with the most love and the best connection to turn away from each other.

            These stressors and crises can lead to strained relationships between family members, and the family may not even be able to recover fully from the crisis, maybe resulting in a restructure of relationships that is not healthy. A parent can turn to their children during trying time when the other parent might turn toward their work. A person may turn toward their addiction, or even create one as a way of coping with the stress. Divorce can ensue after relationship boundaries are over stepped, and husband and wife are no longer confiding in each other. The consequences of how we choose to handle the hard things in life can be detrimental, but it can also be the way that we choose to handle them that can be cause for a family unit being even greater than it was when it first started.

            How can one handle stress? There is good stress, and there is bad stress. The good kind of stress should only be for a short amount of time and should be something that causes you to be better or get something done. The bad kind of stress unfortunately happens way more often then the good kind of stress seems to. The bad kind of stress can lead to problems with anxiety and depression, the perception that there is no escape. But there is an escape! No, I am not suggesting that I have the answer to your problems in my 786-word blog post, but I can suggest some things that might help.

            The most important thing that any one person can do during a stressful time is turn to a loved one. We are given families not only because we were created to bare children, but we are also given a family so we have someone to turn to who loves us, understands us, and is 100% on our side. This is quite possibly one of the best blessings we ever could have received. You family members and loved ones can help you through anything. Now that means that you have to communicate and be honest with your loved one. If communication is used, and isn’t clear, you risk misunderstandings later. People are not mind readers, and don’t know what you’re going through unless you tell them.

            Every family faces stress. Every family will eventually face a crisis. Every family has the opportunity to recover and be better than ever. The key to the being “better than ever” part is turning toward each other. That sounds so simple but can be one of the hardest things anyone ever has to do. Don’t turn away from the people you love. The people who love you the most, will be the very last people to ever judge you. Communicate with others. Tell them you love them. Turn to each other in love and understanding. That’s when things start becoming extraordinary.