Parenting

Parenting is the most challenging thing we take on, ever. Period. We’re just living our lives and then BAM… everything changes. All of the sudden you have this wonderful little thing that even if it moves in the middle of the night, your parent senses tingle and you get up to make sure it’s okay. You’ve now taken on the biggest learning curve that you’ll experience in this life sense you were a baby growing into a person, discovering the world. Now you get to help this other little person make that discovery for themselves. You get to figure out how to be a little kid with an imagination that reaches to the infinities again while they’re young, and then you get to revisit the teen years but this time, understanding better than ever what your parents went through. You’re creating with your spouse a unit that is a defense against the world and trying to meet the needs of the wonderful lives you’ve brought into the world. Though I’m hardly an authority to be talking on how to parent children and teens, I have been taught some very wonderful things that I would like to pass on.

            What is the point of parenting? Kind of a weird question I know but really, what is the point? Like I mentioned before, I think it’s because it gives a really amazing opportunity to grow in ways that without this really, really, really difficult process, we would not be able to grow in the way our Heavenly Father wants us to. Heavenly Father has given us the family unit as a safety from the world, and a safe place to learn and grow amongst many other things. We are here to protect our children while they are learning and growing. To continue on with that idea of learning and growing, it is our job to prepare them to survive and thrive in this mortal existence. As a part of surviving and thriving, one of the most important things we can teach our children is how to respect and create boundaries. This comes into play when basic things are taught such as “don’t touch that, that’s hot,” or “put that down or you’ll cut yourself” or “he/she was playing with that, we need to share”. Though these seem small, these are teaching your small children boundaries and reasoning skills that help them understand more complex boundaries as they grow up.

            As a part of this, I think many fall into the danger of a reward style of parenting. Rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior. I know all of you are now squinting at the screen, wondering of you read that right, and you did. It’s important to remember that you are raising a person and that you need to respect your child the same amount as you expect your child to show you. This is the greatest way to teach your child is to be an example to them. Communicate with them your feelings the same way that you expect them to communicate their feelings to you. This principal should continue on into parenting into the teen years. Expressing feelings and emotions to your teens is one of the most important things that we can do. Power struggles begin with a rise in emotion, and a lack of understanding between two people. Power struggles can be avoided if there is communication between the parents and teens. There should also be an effort to share your admiration for your teen and them know how they are doing, and how much you appreciate them.

            There is so much more that goes into parenting and I have only barely begun to scratch the surface, but with anything, improving communication is when other areas will start to improve. Remember to express love and appreciation for your family often. Heavenly Father has given us this unit so that we can better ourselves, better the community, and have a slight understanding of the love he feels for us. Families are truly amazing and special things, and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today without mine.

            P.S. A lot of information I shared in my blog today, and that we talked about in my class can be found in a book by Michael H Popkin titled Active Parenting. There are other sources where you can find his work also in videos and in other published works about parenting. Go check out his work!!!!