Family Bliss

Family Bliss

What do societal norms these days say about having families? Maybe that it would be the most beneficial to wait until you are older, have an education, and are well established to get married, and to have children? Maybe that children put unwanted strain and pressure on a marital relationship? It would just be best to live alone rather than pursue a marriage that might fail? I would like to challenge these thoughts.

The most recent research for the family shows a great change in recent years compared to what it was like in the 1900’s. People are getting married later, or not at all, which causes cohabitation to increase. Why is this important do you ask? Cohabitation, though the idea of it sounds fantastic, leads to many issues. People who cohabitate are more likely to get divorced if they marry, and many don’t, which leads to, loneliness, and unfulfillment in our intimate relations with others. This also leads to more one parent homes where children are found in unstable situations, and are statistically more likely to struggle in school and social settings. To add on to the risks of cohabitation relationships that may not work out, we are seeing the un-married birth rate has increased substantially. We are finding more and more homes with mostly single mothers who are employed, working long hours, and loosing out on precious time with their children.

Many women are waiting longer and longer to get married and have children. Marrying later in life can create issues between spouses because when you’re older, you are more established. Now that sounds awesome and sounds a lot like a good strong foundation to start a marriage right? But, when you are older, you are more independent, more likely to be established in a career, and maybe even have a home. The problems posed with this is when that independence that is created, it can often be difficult to open up to another person, to let them serve you, and it can be extremely difficult to let them in emotionally. With established careers and a home, which both would have, I can only imagine what kind of difficulties could be faced when bringing together the two worlds.

Women who wait longer to have children may face many problems with having children at all. The older you get, the harder it is to have children. I have never once heard anyone say that they wished that they didn’t have as many children as they did, only have I heard that people wished to have more. Child bearing in general has decreases a significant amount from what we saw after World War 2 had come to a close. After World War 2 ended, the country saw a large increase in population due to the fact that the country was no longer in a depression, and had just help to end the second World War. Now we are at an average that if we keep going the way that we’re going, the country will not be able to replace its own population. This affects our economy greatly due to the fact that we will have more people retiring than young people who can replace them in their jobs. Also, when done correctly, children can add much more fulfillment to a marriage as bonds are created and love keeps growing when children are brought into the world.

What’s so bad about living alone? Many are finding that they would prefer to just live alone. “What’s so wrong with that” you may ask. Human beings are social creatures by nature. We crave personal relationships with other people, and when we interact more with others, its almost like getting a good dose of vitamin D. People are happier when they are surrounded by people that they love. People who share the same interests, values, and morals. When we are alone, we have little to no opportunity to grow in our intimate relationships with others, creating trusting bonds, and being surrounded by those that love us.

Why are these things important? There is not a single thing that I have talked about that you should not be able to look at and say that it does not affect you. You live in a growing and changing society that our children will inherit. What kind of society do you want to leave behind to our children? These things matter. These issues affect the economy, society, and our overall emotional well-being. When children are introduced into the world, love grows, families grow, and our intimate relationships grow. Children can truly help bring a couple together in marriage, creating bonds they never knew that they would be able to. When children have siblings, they are more likely to learn conflict resolution, societal development, and learn how to be self-less in being around others. Emotional, spiritual, and moral support will be lacking without the family system. Because we are social creatures, the family is essential to our well being.